30 days challenges of new things

I am felling that i’m stuck in rud at the moment.   I’m currently recovering my self-confidence, motivation and willingness to let go of a bad treatments by my supervisor at my previous job at an international humanitarian aid organisation (What a irony huh, an organisation with noble cause, but bad bosses are EVERYWHERE, Non-profit organisations are not exempted)

I watched the Presentation by Matt Cutts  in Ted Talks about doing new things for 30 days.  

His presentation is very simple and yet straight to the point. Very inspiring.......   I always wanted to do something i haven't done before, well in this case, something that i always say I would like to do. 

I’m easily distracted, and i hardly finish every finish my personal projects , so i’m going to make a list and i’ll try to finished them one day at a time

1. Convert my overseas license to Victoria License , so  study and take the tests  
2. Read books that have been sitting on my night stand 

3.Watch a ted talk presentation everyday and write a reflection in my blog  

4. Make an OWL  plastic bag holder . the design will be an owl version of below

5. Second attempt in making ‘kue bandung’ or also known as ‘martabak manis’  menurut resep . on my first attempt,  my ‘martabak’  taste like pancake 

6. Getting at least 2 hours per day exercise on my wii games ( dance dance revolution and my personal coach)

7. Learn PHP . i’ll use the ultimate FREE online programming learning tools 

8.   Learn about google ad-sense

9. Create an interactive presentation of  decision making system – Unbaa by using Prezi 

Unbaa

10. Read and learn PRINCE 2  book ( got it from my hubby on his PRINCE 2 certification course)

11. Create online store for my business ( I have few ideas, just have to decide which one I would like to pursue )

12.Research type of plants that are good for the garden,  and garden designs 

13. Be a good housewife - getting up early, and pack my hubby's lunch :P 

14. Trying my best to STICK to my list :D 

Belajar di Melbourne

What IDP should have said about studying in Melbourne “Pokoknya di Melbourne thu kayak di Jakarta aja lah, minus pembantu dan supir. bisa tetep berteman dengan orang Indonesia yg satu suku, jadi gak perlu belajar bahasa inggris , ngapain, toch temen2nya juga orang Indonesia. Pokoknya asal basic English aja gpp, Keuntungan ke-2 , Bisa jadi religious, karena banyak perkumpulan2 agama. Gak perlu cari pengalaman kerja disana , karena km nanti setelah ‘for good’ juga kerja buat mami papi di Indonesia. Gal perlu belajar budaya Australia, di city kebanyakan pendatang kok”

Stereotype Indonesian Student di Melbourne
1. Bahasa inggris pas2an
2. Hanya bergaul dengan orang2 indonesia, ( sampe masalah discrimniasi ras juga kebawa sampe Australia)
3. Kalo orang tuanya kaya: mobil pasti merek eropa : BMW,AUDI , etc

CATHOLIC and DIVORCE

“when you’re getting married in catholic church , it’s for life , you can’t get divorce”

Hands up.. people… who believe in this notion!!!!!!

Well I did, I heard this notion from my mom, family, friends, teachers, but now that I think about it.. never from a priest…

IT’S PARTLY TRUE!!! Getting married in Catholic Church IS NOT a death sentence.
Yes, you can’t get divorce under Catholic church, BUT you could get an annulment ; Both has the same conclusion : you don’t have to stay in un-happy marriage.

Think about it……

If the Catholic Church FORCE people to be miserable by staying in an un-happy marriage? Where’s the universal love that the church have been preaching for centuries????

Personally , i know some people who stay in un-happy marriage because they made that commitment of being married under Catholic laws.

Well… go and talk to a priest…. , ask for an annulment. You and your partner will have to go to couple counseling, catholic church strongly suggest to give your marriage another try under church supervision, and if it doesn’t work, then the church will agree to give you an annulment, and divorce.

So you could live your life, being true to your self and have another chance to be happy.

Conclusion: DIVORCE is NOT a sin, lying to yourself IS A SIN!

I found a good sourcef from Catholics Australia , it's all you need to know about divorce and how catholic view it http://www.catholicaustralia.com.au/page.php?pg=sacraments-divorcefaqs3

ARE INDONESIANS BUCH OF BULLIES?

I was watching American’s next top model (ANTM)cycle 15, one of the episode is about Teen bullying, the girls were asked about their bully word, and their power word. Mr.Jay’s bully word was a band geek, and his power word is creative genius. One of the girls cries when she has to face her bully word, which is Queer, and her power word is Free

Then, I was thinking of my bully word, hehe I just realized that there are too many bully words
In primary school, there was this girl, she bullied me, and funny things what she did to me, and I’m doing it to other people (My friend thinks that I’m a bully)

• I pronounced “Magneto” from X-MAN “ Mangeto” . She laughed at me, called me stupid and tell everyone about my stupidity. (oh yeah.. she also called me a chicken, in literal meaning, my head bobs up and down ..)
I just realise that I love telling other people about someone’s stupidity, and laugh at them.

• I always have been a big girl, so my friend teased me about my weight. When I confront them, they told me that it’s the truth. Even though the name-calling destroy in my self-esteem, I felt I’m ugliest girl on earth, and no one is going to marry me, but it’s the truth, and if I can’t handle the truth, it means that I’m weak.

And I like to tell people about the truth that they don’t want to hear. I called many people weak, in my defense( tyring to justify my horrible action ) I was always trying to help, and motivate them to change.
And if you know me, many more…..

In Indonesia, the teen suicide rate due bullying is fairly lower than the west. WHY?

Maybe we’re a nation with tough mentality, we’re able to take jokes, or maybe we’re a nation that IGNORE our emotional problem.

Among other problems that most Indonesian endures this is mostly evolved around MONEY; the common goals /way of thinking are:

“How am I going to put food on the table? Where am I going to live? Who’s going to look after my family? I hate my job, but I need the money. “
Emotional problems have never been dealt with. They’re shoved aside; the more pressing concern is MONEY.

I asked my friend, what’s bullying in Indonesian?

Their answer s are
1. Bullying = Menyiksa
2. Ngata2in, semacem gencet
3. Penataran , plonco
4. Mencemooh, mengejek, mempermainkan (harus digabung jadi satu kalo gak tidak mengambarkan maksudnya )

My translation of Bullying to Indonesian is “tindakan yg menyakitkan hati ( “kakehane”, “nyerike”, “nylekit” ,”dapuran cangkem e kurang beres” kalo basa semarangnya :P )

We’re all DID it; we bullied our friends, siblings, family, or just random people on the street.
We hassle each other, it’s how we BOND.
To what point though?

I hide all my tears from her ( the bully in primary school) , I acted tough , if I cry I know that she would called me a ‘cry baby’ , so I just laughed with a smile on my face when she make fun of me ( which was constant, she was in after school study group) . I wonder Did she mean it as joke? Did she realise how much she was hurting me?

To my dear friends who might be victim to my bullying… I’m sorry .
But … the ANTM excersise help me to this realization.

So.. What’s your bully word? What’s your power word?

My bully words : big fat stupid wierdo . My power word is Unique


Side story : After the primary school , we went to different junior high school, we went to the same high school though, we’re sort of in the same circle of friends, and I did stood up to her, by standing up I gave her own medicine, I laughed at her stupidities. I have to admit, it gave the satisfaction. And at that point in high school, I went on to bully other people with her ‘technique’ of bullying.

Salute to Workers without Privileges (Indonesian Workers)

As part of my annual PPR (Performance Planning and Review), I had to complete Workplace discrimination and Harassment-Legal Compliance course. I have obtained the certification after taking the test on the end of the course. As the name indicates, the course contains Australian Legal Compliance of Discrimination and Harassment



The course contains

* worker’s right to have flexible working days
* what are the appropriate behaviors to your boss, college and sub-ordinate
* Everyone has equal right for a position
* What behaviors / company policies that are considered as discrimination and harassment.

This 90 minutes online course was very interesting to me, they sounds too good to be true. According to my friend’s stories, most of Indonesian company would be breaking ALL this regulations. Here are some examples:

* In Indonesia, it is normal to advertise a job ads, with specific race , religion, political views, physical performance requirement



Wanted: an admin person who is loyal, honest and hard worker, minimal degree: Bachelor (S1) , Chinese

“Dicari admin, syarat: jujur, setia, pekerja keras, minimal S1 dan chinese background”

In Australia, that’s the number one rule of discrimination, people have the right to any jobs. Even this job ad is considered “indirect discrimination”: Looking for a truck driver with excellent written and oral English. (Why would a truck driver need an excellent English skill, well this ad read: wanted Australian –native truck drivers)

* The common Corporate Executive behaviour “Your boss is your master, don’t like your job and how your boss treat you, then QUIT and find another job”

Australian workers are very privileged; they have the right to have flexible working days, so they have time to look after their personal need, kids and any other arrangements.

Most of my friend who works in Jakarta, they work more than 12 hours per day/ with no flexible working days, Some is lucky enough to get paid overtime.

* Another common Corporate Executive behavior “great employees works with the system, they don’t complain , they just do their jobs, but if they DARE to complain about me , They’re out… but if I still need them, I will face them out slowly “

Yes… an employee can’t lodge a complaint about his/her situation, they are meant to deal with it. Dealing with this unfair working condition is seen as strength, as one of the aspect that employers are looking for. Isn’t that TWISTED?

An Australian company must deal, documented, and respond to the complain seriously, and the employee who lodge the complain must not be treated differently, or they organization could be charged with “Victimization”

* Don’t get me started on disability workers- THEY DON’T EXIST IN INDONESIA, if you’re disabled, you’re screwed!!!!

It is very highly unlikely that some one will hire a person with disability; most of them end up in their relative care or work independently with low wages. (I see this first hand, one of my auntie is living with disability, for all her struggle, she is a brave woman, love her so much)



Again, Australian workers had it easy, there’s a lot of access of person with any kinds of disability. They could travel with public transport, and their employers are obliged by law to provide them with any of their disability needs.



Yes… I salute the Workers without Privileges (Indonesian Workers), shame on me for complaining about my job.



Although I can’t help but wonder, when will these condition change? When will these “Corporate Executive” even consider the idea of implementing workplace discrimination and harassment polices?



Most of these “Corporate Executive” are big with their seminars of self development (potential development), business development seminars. When are they going grasp the idea of happy employee might contribute productivity growth?



Hopefully SOON



Again .. Salute to all hard-working people in Indonesia

More Poverty = More Religion

More Poverty = More Religion: "

Religion has a surprisingly high correlation with poverty, according to a Gallup survey conducted in more than 100 countries. The more poverty a nation has, the higher the “religiosity” in that nation.  In general, richer countries are less religious than poorer  ones.

The biggest exception? The United States, which has the highest religiosity relative to its wealth on the planet.

>

Religion & Poverty

graphic via NYT

>

Hat tip Flowing Data

>

Sources:

Religious Outlier

CHARLES M. BLOW

NYT, September 3, 2010
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/04/opinion/04blow.html

Religiosity Highest in World’s Poorest Nations

United States is among the rich countries that buck the trend

Steve Crabtree

Gallup, August 31, 2010
http://www.gallup.com/poll/142727/religiosity-highest-world-poorest-nations.aspx

"

Love never fade..

My 76 years old grandma cried hysterically after she read the obituary section in the loacl newspaper this morning. Her ex-partner ( my youngest auntie's dad) passed away, she wept " They only listed his 3 other wives, I'm not on the list, .......i had a child with him.......". then she begs my mom to take her to his funeral.

Mom never talked about her step-dad, well.. he wasn't really a dad for her, he lied to my grandma about his marital status, he made a promise to grandma that he would looked after her if she moved to a different city with him, then he didn't live up to his word, coz then abandon her and his child and he married a dutch lady(the 3rd wife). Mom also told me that He was quite the lady's man- half dutch half Chinese - tall, handsome.

I cried as soon as i heard the news, i could feel the pain that she's having. , It's really sad, my grandma wasn't so lucky in her lovelife, she left my grandpa because he wanted to have another wive(i guess it's a common practice back then), then her next relationship, she had to go through this horrible betrayal again. I would thought that she would hated her former partners. but... 40 +years after he left her, and it seems like she have her heart broken by him AGAIN.

I'm not quite sure why was she crying, did she still love him? or did he hurt her , and a news about him just remind her of the pain in the heart?

Hearing this story , i felt a sharp pain in my chest, the same feeling when i got my heart broken, the pain is still here, even though now I'm in love with this gorgeous, kindhearted man, who love me as much as i love him.

Well i did some research on this. The scientific term of broken heart is Takotsubo cardiomyopathy- where a traumatizing incident triggers the brain to distribute chemicals that weaken heart tissue. The physical implications are long and could be dangerous :
# A perceived tightness of the chest, similar to an anxiety attack
# Stomachache and/or loss of appetite
# Partial or complete insomnia
# Anger
# Shock
# Nostalgia
# Apathy (loss of interest)

• # Feelings of loneliness
  # Feelings of hopelessness and despair
  # Loss of self-respect and/or self-esteem
  # Medical or psychological illness (for example depression)
  # Suicidal thoughts
  # Nausea
  # Fatigue
  # The thousand-yard stare
  # Constant or frequent crying
  # A feeling of complete emptiness
  # In extreme cases, death

Hm... i guess you could DIE of a broken heart.

proverbs

1. What doesn't kill only you make you stronger
2. Don't worry until you have to
3. A friend in need is a friend indeed
4. If you want to do something wrong, do it right
5. Failure is just finding 1000 ways that didn't work

The boy in the bus

The boy was wearing Aranda elementry red shirt, short pants, he was carrying a huge backpack which bigger than him. His brown eyes just captured my attention. By looking at his body languange , he looked tired and probably hungry, but his eyes look very peacefull. Compare to an old public servant sat next to him, his eyes were telling me a sad story. Maybe the boy is glad that he will meet his parent and siblings, who will provide him with food and love, he doesn't need to worry about anything else. The old man will go back to an empty appartement, with have a take out from turkish restaurant, and have his dinner in front of the television.

i remember my fav bible story that i haven't think about it for so...so.. long. It's about Him saying "Let the children come". Many..many.. years ago, i used to say " i will stay like child forever, coz He love kids" . It was the wrong perception of the verse, the boy in the bus help me to get it right. It's not about the kids or staying like children, but he was putting an example of a child.
A child does not know "Worry" ," Scared", "Lust", "Bad" or " Good". A child see and does what the parent does. A child owns a blind-trust toward his parent, he will believe that his parent won't do him any harm, or tell him to do something wrong, his parent will always love him, and nurture him.

Thank you for the boy in the bus

Cyber Bullying

i browse around on the net, and i found a term called "cyber bullying" wkakaka
http://www.reachout.com.au/home.asp
What is Cyber Bullying?
Cyber bullying is a form of bullying, which is carried out through an internet service such as email, chat room, discussion group, online social networking, instant messaging or web pages. It can also include bullying through mobile phone technologies such as SMS.
Examples of cyber bullying behaviour are:Teasing and being made fun of; Spreading of rumours online; Sending unwanted messages; and Defamation.
Cyber bullying can happen to anyone and the bully can act anonymously if they want. People can also be bullied online by groups of people such as class groups or collective members of an online community.

hahaha i think i should sue most of my friend.